Category Archives: Personal

Personal Disruptor Field

I have a personal disruptor field when it comes to electronic equipment.

I don’t know why.

I was raised by a computer geek of the first generation of computer geeks.  I know how to get inside systems when I need to (or I can at least fake it).  I can almost understand all the lingo some of the time.  I’m not afraid to push buttons.  I’m smart: keep that anti-virus stuff current.

But, electronics break.  Randomly.

Yes, randomly.

Suddenly drives disable themselves, drivers disappear, codes don’t match up.

I’m used to it by now.  But it’s still a pain in the booty.

Case in point: I just spent a couple of hours trying to figure out how to get my sound working again on my laptop.  Along the way, I found several other problems but never solved the sound issue.

The, I casually opened up the properties manager again, just to double check the name of the hardware involved.  Maybe Avi spilled milk on it and I didn’t notice?  Cat hair stuck in between wires?  Oh, look, it says “this drive has been disabled.  go here to re-enable.”


My personal disruptor field decided to disable my dvd drive which caused the sound to fail, and me to lack my nightly Buffy installment.

Woe is me.

ode to uhaul

uhaul, oh, uhaul, you make me so angry i feel nauseated

it’s not the 100 degree weather in which i hauled my own boxes

nor the smell of the cab

it’s not the 8 foot high stack looming into the sky

nor the fridge to clean out as i leave and the fridge to clean out when i arrive

it’s u, uhaul

you suck, and make me so angry i feel nauseated

you overbook your trucks and blame your customers for your mistakes

you threaten and yell

you pit customers against each other and lay blame when it is only due to u


you suck

uhaul, oh, uhaul i should have stuck to my declaration of 7 years ago

next time, oh, next time, i will

no uhaul for me

ever again

and, if i have my way, no uhaul for any of my friends, strangers i run into, or other innocent who needs a truck in which to haul their lives

uhaul, oh, uhaul, never again

Sliding Thoughts

I have a busy brain.

It’s a bother sometimes.

It makes it hard to sleep.

It can make it hard to concentrate.

It can make life feel overwhelming.

It can make going off into the woods with no way to cross off items on the growing list in my mind unnerving.

But, in the end, it’s worth it.

Sometimes, when you have a busy brain, the best thing to do is just turn everything off and walk away.

The calm does come.

I hope my daughter takes less time to discover this skill.

growing up: my ten year college reunion

this weekend marked ten years out of college.

i returned to Brandeis with trepidation.

i planned on spending most of my time visiting with two current friends and two old friends.

the two current friends are lovely, intelligent, beautiful women who have become close to me since graduation and the birth of my child.

the two old friends are my most favorite roommates.  Sazz and i were placed together as freshman and were only parted for one year while i studied abroad. Fuzz and i were in the same orientation group and somehow managed to drift into friendship. by the time we were seniors, the three of us were bunking with three others.  and the six of us were golden. bizarre but golden.

a couple who showered together and squeezed into each others tiny twin size beds for shared sleep.

a gay man who made me laugh so hard i cried and who shared philosophical conversations with the boys in the dorm that went far over my meager understanding of philosophy.

my roomie of old, who taught me how to live a social life, love all things glittery, and painted my nails for the first time in my life.

my buddy from oh canada who could zed with the best of them and showed me that to change the world can be as easy as opening your mouth and talking to a stranger. in my eyes, he is fearless.

senior year. a year of parties, drama (on and off stage), impatience, and love.  i remember it most fondly of my three years at Brandeis because of my dear roomies…and the hope of moving beyond the walls of campus.

college and i were not the best of friends.  i remember very little from books which is not surprising since i wasn’t always in class nor cared enough to study much.  this is what happens when an overachiever ends up in courses far too easy to be truly venerated or far too boring to be loved.  but i made it through. with honors, no less.

and now it’s ten years later.

i spent a tiring day schlepping my child around campus to show her off to the masses.

i spent an evening dancing with my two favs, arms swinging wide, hair flying, sweat dripping. i danced like i haven’t danced in years. i remembered what is was to dance with people i love.

and then we walked.

and then we talked.

it was grande.

and now, i guess, i can call myself a grown-up.

To Do Good Stuff

Mama: Okay, I’ll sit with you for three songs and then I’ll run downstairs and get my computer and sit in the big chair and work while you fall asleep.

Avi: What work?

Mama: I’m designing a postcard for my theatre company and I have to finish it tonight.

Avi: You go to the theatre?

Mama: Yes, I own a theatre company.  We don’t have a building yet, but we are a company.  I’m the boss.

She giggles and I smile.

Mama: Is that funny?

Avi: Yes.  She giggles some more.

Mama: But you know what we do? We hire women and girls.  We help them become better theatre artists, and stronger leaders, and change the world.

Avi: And Do Good Stuff.

Mama: Yes, And Do Good Stuff.  Just like….do you remember who’s birthday it is today?

She points to herself and smiles slyly.

Mama: Martin Luther King, Jr.  He was a great man who changed the world.

Avi: Why do we say it’s his birthday?

Mama: Because he was a great man.  He worked very hard to help all people be treated well, no matter what color skin they have.  And we want to remember him so we always celebrate his birthday.

Avi:  And he was born this day?

Mama: Yes.

May we all remember this birth that changed the world, honor the women and men who continue and broaden his work, and honor the births of new movers and shakers.